Alright, so I went and saw Cloud Atlas yesterday (and it was gooooood). As my roommate and I were driving home, the traffic was pretty bad, so I missed my turn. Because we were driving past, I had an inspiration.
"Let's stop at In-N-Out." So we did. And . . . I was underwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, it tasted good. But to explain why I wasn't impressed, let me explain my three-burger theory.
There are three ideal types of burger. There's the cheap burger. This burger has a thin patty that is usually a perfect geometric shape like a circle or a square. It comes with fries that are quarter inch on a side or less and are sometimes made of ground up and re-combined potatoes, not cut potatoes. The toppings are pretty standard: cheese, pickles, onions, lettuce. Nothing crazy. The second is the gourmet burger. This burger typically has a irregular and usually thicker burger, also can be pretty big circumference-wise. The fries are fresh cut and usually about a half-inch on the side. The burger has a host of possible toppings outside the "standard." The third is the homemade burger: there's no real consistency beyond made at home. The fries are either store-bought, really thick, or gross. Toppings tend to be standard, but people put some whack shiz on there, for real-real.
Alright, I told you that story so I could tell you this one: In-N-Out is probably the best cheap burger I've ever had. But my favorite kind of burger is not of the cheap type. After I was finished at In-N-Out, I was like: that was good. Now let's go get some real food. The fries: lackluster, at best. When your fries make me crave Mickey D, you've got problems. The shake? Standard. Not great, not terrible, just standard chocolate shake. And I mean, if you love cheap burgers, if Mickey D's is your bag, then you will love you some In-N-Out. I really don't.
You see, I prefer 5 Guys. I go there, I get a stacked burger, thick and tasty fries (and lots of them), and I leave full to bursting. Cheap burgers are all about the same. I know there's some quality difference between Burger King and In-N-Out, but I see the difference between Burger King and In-N-Out is smaller than the quality difference between 5 Guys and In-N-Out.
Sorry Californians. Happy reviews come from happy obese people, and happy obese people come out of 5 Guys.
I like Five Guys too, but I still prefer In-N-Out. Why? It's not because the burgers are necessarily better. It's because I grew up going there about once a week in my childhood. After almost every beach trip we swing by In-N-Out, and I have fond memories there. It's more of a cultural thing, than "OMG the burgers are teh best!" (although many people choose to inaccurately express it that way). It's like black people and fried chicken. Southern people and barbeque. Southern Californians and In-N-Out.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you're having it in Utah it's different. The magic of being in Southern California is half of In-N-Out's appeal. It's like a girl who wears a super sexy outfit to church. It's still great, but it doesn't really fit the atmosphere.
The last thing I like about In-N-Out (this is just me personally) is that there is effectively only one meal you can get there. There are just a few variations. You get a burger, fries, drink, and a shake. That's it. You can get an extra patty, or no cheese, or no shake if you want, but it's still the same meal. For me, this makes my life much easier. If I'm craving In-N-Out, I know EXACTLY what I'm going to get before I even arrive. "#2 grilled onions with a root beer." Done. I don't have to analyze my cravings while I do a word search on the menu, standing there like an idiot. If I don't want the In-N-Out meal, then I go elsewhere! I don't need a place that provides me with every type of food on the planet, just quality when I want that thing they're superior at.
So there you go. A reasons people sometimes prefer In-N-Out that you might not have realized. It's not the end-all, be-all of burgers, however. On that note, I think I'll have Five Guys today. I'm craving me a big burger with some sweet potato fries :D